i'm trying to figure out who is more crazy, me or you?

i think we have a bipolar relationship !

women are bloody with men's blood

them and you and me and the whole world

the leyland and goding  decryption

of sir henry neville's

dedication to the sonnets  (1609)

advaita is quite wrong minded, like the way zen is taught, over reductive and it's hurting your progress

i think  you  (ed.  suzanne foxton)  have had a valid awakening experience, it gives a certainty no-one else gets but you need to move to the next plane which includes stopping watching movies

the only advaita teacher i have seen who is reasonably on deck is karl renz and i think he is still not quite there, in part because all the viral exposure of teaching the usual cfs and partly sick is killing !

i know joan tollifson btw, while talented, she has some severe shortfalls in her approach and has has benefited from a lot of contact with toni packer

any way, keep your eyes open at prague and think about what i am saying which is that the viral exposure to the people who listen to this sort of thing is a very unwonderful and unneeded crucifixion !

please feel free to contact me, anyone who ever gets that certainty of how things are, are uncountably few and the endless blather by the copying idiots is depressing

once you start really seriously working on what the  “revelation”  shows, it's really about 4 hours a day in one way or another and you cannot afford the waste of a day that watching a movie does

the other problem with movies is it imposes a synthetic and very misguided reality on your own views

infinity/ultimate reality/god/whatever is not a communal truth, it's an individual truth !

i wonder if you can hear this, my experience of advaita teachers so far is like a non sequitur for not listening ! 

she gave  some wanking reply  and my reply was

to   “some-one in particular”

you are being a bit silly and don't know sense when you hear or read it !

hopefully i am past explaining things to people who don't want to hear !

hey this reply just arises, let it fall away again and you can continue your walking sleep undisturbed

fraud ! yeah let that just arise !

being called a fraud , just let that arise !

the fact of being a fraud, oh well let's sweep that under the carpet !

when you know the infinite then movies are going to appear for what they are, mental candy floss like the advaita turge !

a bit later

i was thinking, why am i taking the trouble to point what i am writing out to you?

the direct communication of infinity with ourselves is a very precious, unique and rare event

you have had that, don't squander it please !

you need to be more in touch with nature and not swamped by the non survivable urban enviroment

evidence

that

sir

henry

neville

and

not

william

shakespeare

was

the

real

author

of

those

plays !

audio table for 6th of march to come !

bad luck for you lot, i am dying and you are all about to cease

it will not seem like you have ceased, but you will have ceased

that part of you that had a living continuity with me has gone

audio tbu

those who assert dependent phenomena

as like moons in the water

as not real and not unreal

are not tricked by views

ed.  on stephen king  saying  the army

is an employment option of no other choice

how to write a comment on hullo poetry

simper, spew roses, eat the toenail of the author

but

NEVER

NEVER

tell

the

 truth !

sea swept by marie rose

where do poems go when you lose them?

blurred by tears,

swept out to sea,

past sharp rocks,

found by lonely fishermen,

their fingers tracing waves.

my  reply

or dissolved again into nothing ?

the interesting thing about the monkees was that mike nesmith authored and sung at least three very good and famous songs; silver moon,  rio  and joanne

i had no idea !

interestingly his  mother  invented liquid paper he was obviously talented with a touch/feeling for  one shoe off, one shoe on and surprisingly was a survivor !

a rigorous investigative streak, not just the usual musician emotionally hooked !

ah, he and his first wife were christian scientists, that must have kept him out of the drug scene!

he was likely synesthetic, in  rio  he mentions  “seeing the sound of the sea”  and at his first meeting with phyllis who came to be his first wife the first thing he said to her was nine is brown, and  phyllis  answered  three is blue.

all the monkees were very talented, it's a very deceptive show

inching forward is the only way

the big leaps come from that

you have asked and i am not going to reply to you again but i will point out this is a public poetry board and i would suggest you post on one of the many private depression boards on the net where you can emotionally wallow without the danger of any valid criticism made !

you objected to your friend's suicide because your feelings were upset !

it's all about you

seen

your

type

 before !

the real offends

the

fake doesn't

emotional

wallowing

is

all

the

style

. .

o

)

(

 consumes !

jesus haiku by jvl narasimha rao

christ was/is a holy and kind son

but not all his so called disciples or followers

it is true of all religions

my  reply

christ aponcy boy on a stick

his coiffed hair disturbed

by

athought

of

 dying !

yeah you always have to keep   steering   to avoid  the rocks in life !

it's interesting as one gets older how very established theories about things as substantial as the formation of the solar system fall away as totally wrong !

the forming of the solar system in fact was the  coalescing  of the sun and planets out of a cold gas

i honestly think you don't understand writing and how it can refer to several things at once and how fictional it can be

puberty is a similar process to  metamorphosis   in insects !

“ not only are the frontal lobes remodeled during puberty, that's also when diseases such as bipolar disorder and schizophrenia tend to manifest

there's so much cell death and rewiring during this period it's astonishing that we get through it as well as we do. ”

it's a process driven by changes in expression in targeted genes inducted by hormones!

poem by loewen s graves   (February 2012, hellopoetry)

i find the best poems sort of come complete and can't really be edited and actually i never try and write a poem, they just sort of turn up

it's funny, but i find i can't   write a lot of stuff now   without  multiple   fonts !    :  o   )

:

o

)

(

razor blades

spinning

sharpening

as

they

fragment

in

the

sun

blind

the

dourfull

night

:

o

)

(

it's very good, but feels like the blunted edge of a knife and not the razor sharp you are capable of !

‘ no one approves of suicide ’ by samuel benjamin elko junior

the casket was open for the duration

of the service

a black hole beckoning, a step through the door

the great unknown

a muffled cough, a sigh, unease hung

in the air, a cloying fog

i sat near the back, observant of the dry eyes

the looks of disgust

the gathering  —  most here out of a sense of requirement

than true feeling

the few who knew, eclipsed by the underwhelming

apathy

even less approached the pristine coffin for

a final goodbye

those with a thirst for the morbid  (likely)

heartfelt  (doubtful)

“ daddy always said  —  be committed in what you do ”

words taken to heart  —  evident in the cracked void left by the .44 exit

disinterested in the false emotions of the living

i leave  —  unnoticed

a ghost at my own funeral

my  comment

funerals are always odd businesses anyway, farcical really !

a poem by odi

Your fingertips danced to the echo of your own brokenness

Your pain so pure in the form of shivers

too heavy

Intense for a mere tear

and what words I could hear from your mumbled mess

and skipping heartbeat

As you looked off into that deep dark sea

that was just scary and I thought

You had every right to be afraid of just about

everything

because there is so much to be scared of in this horrible

awful

messy

place

children go missing

and molested

and little girls like you

get raped

and all they remember is the strange hum of police sirens and an officer that was

a little too friendly

and now they look at people with empty frozen eyes

that I can’t look past or through

Like insects trapped in nets

Or porn stars turnin’ tricks

I feel awful to think that paedophiles

and molested children

have the same kind of hands

if you look somewhere in the past

its hard to think they were children too

who maybe liked chocolate milk

and hated the way a neighbour made them feel

You told me these theories with a steady voice

Resembling your own destruction

somehow detached from your own rape what

was

taken

from

you

Sam told me about how you came home bruised

broken

and he took a wash cloth to your cuts

and that filth that monster left in you

you told me how Sam cried as you tried

hard not to make a sound

(you ended up comforting him)

you ask questions to an un-answering god

about how this could of happened to you

too many times  .  .

I watched your beautiful mouth tell me

awful

awful

things

my  comment

actually i think this is illustrative of the problems of the net, you lose your own identity and we get areas of ourselves reinforced that is not helpful to us !

the poem by odi was from hello poetry and sometimes they are very  ‘ imaginative ”  and at other times they can be unfortunately direct from experience, i don’t know what the story is in this case

audio table for 2nd of march to come !

surprised myself, posted on the hardcore zen blog, but even tho i felt it might be helpful to brad warner i removed it, couldn't bear to be amongst those turds !

--------------------

the post was :

i swore i'd never post here again but this will be an exception, or the exception !

where you excel is your combination of graphics ability and writing, why not offer doing book covers or advising on them?

what about doing posters or net advertising for people?

you have the ability there, it's unusual and you can be your own boss !

the  enlightenizer  is actually a very good quality advertisement !

any contacts in the advertising industry?

------------------

brad if you are reading this imo you have the sort of second rate  “spiritual insight”  that goes well in advertising and you would be a good fit

do you want to be the second rate teaching to the 6th or 7th rates when all you and they do is deny the first rate?

i'm not saying you are worse than what passes as a zen teacher, in fact you are better, not up to karl renz's level tho and he is still not fully there

financially advaita and tolle have wiped zen and intellectually the very poor quality of zen teachers is i suppose why the 6th patriarch gave me transmission tho as for setting things right there is no such thing

brad if you think you are first rate, why can't you reply to this, it is addressed to you !

as i said advertising is a better fit for you rather than pretending to something false in the first place !

------------------------------

my later comment is:

i did out a post on brad warners hardcore zen blog giving some advice on his question of what he should be doing for more income !

i noticed some things , one thing which i found surprising is i couldn't stand to have post on that blog ! i think this is a combination of the aggressive wrong minded turds on that board and they and brad really having injured me and they being an affront to infinity so to speak by rejecting what i took the trouble to write and mainly for their benefit

i have trouble getting to grips with punishing in some way or avoiding those who injure me

interestingly  gniz  who is a successful e-book author was advising brad to write or format some of his work more appropriately for the e-book audience, but brad is not writing entertainment strictly speaking, or rather the sort of pap he does write is entertainment only to a very small group of people who have some background in zen and failure

maybe not such a small group  ; o )

i wish i could be more generous or sympathetic to his problems but i find i can't and i feel that is a judgement infinity or buddha or god has made on him, he has been offered opportunity but refused the guidance !

charles bukowski   epigenetically   changed by his fathers beating of him !

maybe he did need to drink !

you can write a poem with every letter a different font, size and colour

too much work tho !

eileen writes

yeah and not needed unless it highlights

in the right way

my reply

mostly but in the end it's time

you could spend a lifetime   rendering   one poem

drawings including the poem or vice versa would be the next step

w.s. graham is interesting

“ to  alexander graham ”    and    “ dear bryan wynter ”

  foxglove  and carn

interestingly harold pinter was a  supporter  of his !

zennor where bryan wynter lived at his cottage  “ the carn ”

has an interesting mermaid  legend













when

a

woman

is

available,  what

does

that

signify ?

a lifetime of servitude for both parties ?

eileen’s reply:

when a man is available what does that signify....? the same slavery or something else....

keep

your

chin

up

every

day

is

a

new

development

. .

o

)

karl renz  depression  (18.10)  is more real than happiness !

mozart worked at night and slept in the day so he  never  got  ANY SUN ON THE SKIN

suicide is always the result of a very sustained period of cripplingly deep depression, if they look normal to you, then you have to realise that you are also deeply depressed !

what i find gives the best insights about life is a combination of this sort of severity of depression  but somehow insulated from it and also mania, sort of a  push pull  pump if you will !

sylvia plath, edgar allen poe, emily dickinson, charles bukowski, john keats, william and dorothy wordsworth, coleridge, charles dickens, sa'di, basho, mahler, berlioz......... you can see it if you know where to look and what to look for !

life and infinity are pretty casual about death !

so we should be too !

over twenty and/or thirty years how does someone  “going”  look ?

sun reflecting on the water

you

are

over

certain

of

your

own

viewpoint !

(ed.  this came in three parts, first section, then the sunlight reflecting line, then the last bit about being too certain of your opinion; a sort of triptych if you will  : o )

A house built on Xanax by Odi

If only I had remembered to leave my phone on that night

Then I might have served as a witness to the end of your life

Which is better because then I wouldn't be questioning

weather or not your death even happened

I would've heard the gunshot over the other end,

I would've been in that car with you as it crashed

I would've hung with you from your bedpost

And swayed as your mothers scream's

failed to bring you back to the living

See If I had let my phone on that night

I think we would all have a little sense of certainty

That yeah, you really did take your own life

But at-least you left us with a clue

But no, you failed to reach me

(But between me and your ghost who hasnt slept in 4 nights, we know I failed you)

How is it that we could be so close to someone ?

Yet not know the extent of their suffering

Pain like that merits some sort of sign,

some sort of heartbreaking sound

Not, not, your fucking grin

You said your house was built on Xanax

And that you were sick

of it

3 missed calls

Those words will haunt me forever

What I remember is that it was the only night I could actually sleep

Shhhhhhhhhhhhh

While somewhere in an empty room you weeped

and the only note you left us with

Was the horrific statement of your death

Pieces of your brain matter stuck to the wall

As a final oath of your destruction

As if you spit in life's face and said

"Fuck you, I'm not coming back."

i don't think there's any sense of certainty

my  reply

when some-one dies,

they're gone and as time goes on

it

shows

them

not

to

be

there !

mp3

the mists rise over

the still pools at asuka

memory does not

pass away so easily

ed. the above is kenneth rexroth's translation of yamabe no  akahito's  poem

my

reply

the

mists

rise

over

the

limpid

water

memory

passes

away

that

 easily

yeah i don't believe in astrology but my star sign is a virgo!

the trick is to read all the signs and they are pretty well applicable, generalized advice and thoughts about life, homilies if you will !

interestingly, dogen whose father was likely minamoto michichika was quite well connected to the ruling minamoto clan and given kamakura support dogen was more prominent in his time than might be expected

warrior monks were an issue at the time so a friendly non militant zen teacher like dogen would have been a political plus !

it's interesting all the zen fools and toads that infect the zen centers and message boards have never looked at the broader history of the period which is very interesting, wars and famines being conspicuous in the period just before his birth, a relatively quiet time during his life, but with famines and the jokyu disturbance !

zen was not welcome in kyoto which was a stronghold of competing sects!

the governing elite attached to the emperors and court in kyoto was extremely literary and in fact there had been a many centuries tradition of it so dogen needs to be understood in that context, (hyper lexic he was ;o)

the best poets understand, zen doesn't, of course zennits never read good poetry for the reason their poor turbid putrid brains might be overwhelmed

some-one like brad warner who can waste his life living the illusion of competence when he's just a mass media and music swilling pig defies categorization !

cat got your tongue and face brad ?

can't cope with any well driven nails into the head can you or any other zen teacher !

just fucking frauds !

dogen should have never become a monk, the poor diet and disease rife in monasteries was responsible for his TB !

he could have had a nice life as a court  aristocrat !

he was very capable, he would have done well and not got so screwed up with voynich !

however making catastrophic life mistakes is part of developing understanding, or at least, has that potential, today's fake monastics and lay sanga and teachers float through life like a breeze with no spikes through their brains and hearts to wreck/create that sort of ultra profound dissonance that can open to realization !

as

i

s

a

y

frauds

audio table for 29th of february to come !

probably uncountable infinities actually !

i

had

almost

forgotten

the

madness

and

genius

of

william

blake

i

had

forgotten

the

madness

and

genius

of

blake

the kelp sequence that follows in the sections below was inspired by ono no komachi's poem  (immediately below - translated by kenneth rexroth)

doesn't he realize

that i am not

like the swaying kelp

in the surf,

where the seaweed gatherer

can come as often as he wants.

it started as a reply but morphed into something different !  : o )

don't you understand

the

swell

moving

kelp

always

moving

at

the

sea

shore

there

i

am

not

this

is

hard

for

men

to

understand !

don't you understand

the

swell

moving

kelp

always

moving

at

the

sea

shore

there

i

am

not

audio table for 25th and 26th? feb to come !

. .

o

)

. .

o

)

. .

o

)

. .

o

)

a really good page of love  poems

ken  rexroth  is very  interesting !

  “ the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results ”

ed. attributed to albert einstein, but who knows ?

my  reply

insanity is both defined and undefined !

jesus said,   “ i am the way and the truth and the life. no one comes to the father except through me ”

ed.  john 14:6

being  broken  is the way the truth and the life !

jesus is a fiction, god is a muddy definition but being broken is the real and unreal summation !

the unplatable truth that christians never like to hear !

first table after 21st feb (25th in fact) audio to come !

eileen  asks

when u said there is power in not judging yourself did u mean a self confidence?

my  reply

more a certainty from seeing things the way they are

eileen asks

   when u said there is power in not judging yourself did u mean a self confidence ?

          my reply

              more a certainty from seeing things the way they are

eileen asks

   when u said there is power in not judging yourself did u mean a self confidence ?

my reply

    more a certainty from seeing things the way they are

an advaita twit writes

the self is never born, it is timeless, how can it be exhausted ?

my reply

the self is always born, it is timed and it can be exhausted !

an advaita twit writes

the self is never born, it is timeless, how can it be exhausted?

my reply

the self is always born, it is timed and it can be exhausted !

the

best

explanation

for

the

sinking

of

the

titanic

is

all

the

crew

were

gaga

from

lead

probably

ah

lead

piping

or

joins

for

the

water

and

maybe

quite

soft

water

shipped

the

best

explanation

for

the

sinking

of

the

titanic

is

all

the

crew

were

gaga

from

lead

probably

ah

lead

piping

for

the

water

mp3

my  reply to mr. deity  (ed. brian dalton)

diabetes, pre-diabetes and poor blood sugar control are not some nice  “oh i just do injections”  condition but a severe mitochondrial and protein folding disorder that slowly fries you and your brain alive alive as the uncontrolled blood sugar reacts and ages you in 100 time ! 

your wife is picking up some not good change in you, while one has health one laughs, when one doesn't one cries  : o (

these days one can cry for twenty and thirty years

interesting newly discovered  lizards

dunno what their appeal is, something about them !

the mimic eyes?

scales?

spiky knobs?

colouring ?

when a woman

is

resistant

it's

like

chipping

concrete

. .

o

)

(

. .

o

)

anemic women who won't eat liver but will take iron pills are insane !

( ed. australia and nz anyway as they have good quality liver from farm and not feedlot raised cattle ! )

this ability to develop an uncertainty about our opinions and views and test them/things experimentally is a fundamental life skill

like i think this, but how does it really work in practice?

i think a problem with the education system is it teaches the opposite, what one is told or has learnt is right and don't ever test it because the results might frighten others

the arts and health problems are nightmare, a wasteland of avoidance, medications and self-medicating

green elderberries and the wood are toxic, but properly black ripe ones are not, i don't think dry or fresh makes any difference to toxicity

i have never eaten elderberries and am going abit on my experience with blueberries regarding the  bcd

fresh pasturized blueberries with the houston enzymes used as described below are a fabulous anti-biofilmic !

this  video  says red elderberries are also ok if your remove the seeds and and cook the pulp !

from a  bcd  point of view there's pasturizing which is simply bringing the berries up to 68C and then if it's needed, some cooking to break down the fiber a bit or what you would do normally !

of course cooking naturally does pasturizing, but it also denatures potentially valuable food factors like vitamin C, like if i am pasturizing raspberries i only toss them in at the end so they don't really cook, but just get heated up to 68C or a bit higher so the vitamin C is retained

but fruit also has to be easily digestible so it's a question of balance !

sweet fruit imo needs buffering with cream, fish oil and possibly something like quark cheese

i do much prefer fresh or frozen fruit to dried and dried may need a reasonable amount of soaking !

i take 1 to 2 each of the houston no-fenol and zyme prime enzymes mixed in water after fruit meals !

this both provides anti-biofilmic action, digestion help and unlocking the medicinal power of the polyphenols

i

think

my

homilies

are

a

sort

of

conceptual

dubstep

to

invisible

music !

audio

zen and all religion is like  dubstep  and music, goes nowhere

smash the window and get outside !

there's a advaita guru called paul lowe at byron bay who opened my eyes in a major way about advaita, could see what it's about

he's 75 now

in the 60's and 70's was really into the free love scene and when you look at advaita it's just a system for grooming for sex

which is part of the indian hindu temple tradition

the rulers were from bagdad and wanted a touch of  home  in a lonely and dangerous outpost  above  jerusalem

lol, willows in a climate where they had to get all their water from roof collection !

maybe they had more regular rainfall then?

that they can tell what was growing in that garden 2500 years ago is just amazing !

  “ down by the rivers of  babylon ”,  because it was a river they had willows, it's just amazing how this stuff can synchronize across the millenia!

naia kete and barefoot truth work extraordinarily well together, MAGIC